i want to go shopping with him, and have him pick out what he likes

I would love to go roller skating with him (: 
not in Medina, but the place in Brunswick - i like it better there ♥ 

sometimes i feel like i live two lives.
they will never mix, or blend together.

there’s the me that lives in dorm rooms on weekends, has someone constantly by her side that loves her, works too many hours, and does nothing in her free time but sleep - and then there’s the me that is completely alone and utterly miserable at school, who does nothing but stare at walls and wonder if she’s going crazy because her heart skips beats and she can’t sleep. ever.

i’m so happy when i’m with him, but so miserable when he’s gone. it’s almost like nothing else matters. when i’m with him, all i can do is sleep because when i’m here - alone - i can’t. i just don’t know how to explain it.

sometimes when i’m up at night i wonder if i’m on the right path, like if nursing is really what i should be doing - then i just think of the people i help at work and know that this is where i belong. i guess i’m just really unsure of myself. like with every step i take - i pause to make sure it will hold, that i didn’t cause some cosmic turn of events. i just want to be with him, and be normal. i have nothing else to ask for in life.

i think i’m too much of an optimist when it comes to people. like when someone cuts my mom off she gets all angry, but i always jump in and defend them. or when she goes off about my dad, okay i know he hasn’t made the best choices with his life, that’s why none of us really talk anymore - but you don’t need to pounce on someone and their flaws, no one is perfect. it really bothers me that people can be so cruel, like in the library today this younger girl was going off (quite loudly) about how this one boy was “ugly and smelled so bad she could shoot herself in the face, like 5 times”. when did my generation become the only generation that’s still accepting of others? and we don’t even do that amazing of a job sometimes - i just don’t get why people have to be so cruel.